Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize