Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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