when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
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She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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