Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize