Someone shit on the floor
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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