I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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