i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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