well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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