oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize