I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize