that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just google imaged poop.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize