my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
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i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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