you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
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Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
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Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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