I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize