Jerry, you need to find god
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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