I feel like abortions should bother me more
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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