if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize