remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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