WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
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Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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