The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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