i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize