Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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