I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize