Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize