I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize