I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize