omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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