is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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