remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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