great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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