4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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