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I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
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