I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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