I think my vagina is haunted
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
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It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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