The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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