You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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