That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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