now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
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best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
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I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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