i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize