we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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