Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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