He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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