saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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