I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize