i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
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There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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