I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
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