Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize