The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I am midnight drunk by noon
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
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You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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