I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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