Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
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I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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