I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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