we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
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I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
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Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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